Tuesday, April 24, 2012

the longest 1.2 miles i have ever walked....but i did it....and some more soldered schtuff

so yesterday afternoon the beast and i fought.  a year ago, 2 years ago i would have given up and crawled in my bed, or been forced there by the hubby who worries.   i pushed myself and went down to my studio and made art.   some days when the beast is acting up my body and brain do not communicate with each other.   my throat tries to swallow backwards, and i choke....my hands forget to hold things and that means carrying a glass-glass is a no-no and this big girl is forced to use a plastic drink bottle....which sometimes feels like a grown up girl sippee cup.  my feet and legs forget how to walk on stairs. 

so i made it down to my studio and began putting feathers and vintage text between layers of glass that i had to first wipe down and then tape to prepare to solder.  i have had to learn to laugh, and alot, to keep sane with this disease.   it was almost cartoon like yesterday.  things would begin to fall from my grip and i would try to catch it and just as i had it back in my hands it fell again and i grabbed again.  

the best way to describe how this feels is for you to imagine being on a ride that spins while standing and the floor suddenly tilts or drops out from under you....now while all of this is going on try to walk, talk, swallow, make art....using an x-acto knife and scissors and glass and all things pokey and proddy.....  that is what i live with in varying degrees every day. 

last year while looking for.....ugh i don't know what on the meniere's support group fb page i came across a post that a doctor recommended that you do the hard things, not avoid them and it will help you COPE better over time.  i was angry at first...is this doctor nuts?!  i would like to see him try.   the next day though i realized i had been  letting this beast win.   there are days when i will never be able to even think of getting out of bed no matter how hard i try....but there are plenty of days in between that i can.   i want my life back and i began taking charge again.

  cooking and doing the dishes are still torture as the movement can be nauseating and make the spins flare up....but a little over a year ago i began doing them again...most days.  it sucks but i CAN do it.

last year i did not walk but just a few times on the really good days.  i miss walking, and steph and i started walking again last week...... i was having some really good days so the walking was pretty easy.   we have started off slow, for my sake, just doing 1.2 miles a night.  just a bit over the average 2,000 steps taken in a mile.   i am hoping in the next couple of months to be up to the 10,000 daily steps that are recommended.  

those with meniere's or vertigo and balance issues also have problems navigating in the dark.   with landmarks less visible it feels like floating in outer space and standing on the very edge of the grand canyon with gravity pushing you over the edge all at the same time.  you have no point of reference to know which end is up when your brain is telling you differently.   last night i really wanted to walk and kept thinking there is just no way.  steph asked if i wanted to try and i told her i did not know if i would be able to make it both trips around the block but i wanted to give it a shot.   a part of me was convinced if i just got out there and walked the vertigo and imbalance would just go away.  for so many years i was told this was in my head, or anxiety even though i was originally diagnosed when i was 19.    sometimes, especially on the less challenging days i do try really hard to convince myself that it is all in my head and some days i am just plain in denial that this is really happening to me. 

i probably walked more like 4,000 steps than 2,000 from the stumbling, it was awful and awesome at the same time.  i constantly had to stop and get my bearings back and start up again.  i constantly felt like i was falling and only knew when i was when steph would grab on to me.   steph said i looked like a baby just learning to walk....i saw my shadow at one point and joked i looked like frankenstein walking for the first time!    the first time around the block was scary, the second a challenge...and like i said before it was awful and awesome at the same time.  my daughter kept cheering me on telling me how proud she was of me....and that helped....a lot.  it was the longest 1.2 miles i had ever walked and when we got home i was beyond exhausted.

this evening i was a bit less spinny and off balance but,  i had started to talk myself out of that walk.  it was hard and i had forgotten to have the hubby adjust my second crutch.  i usually only use one, but decided on the extra challenging days we walk that using both might help....i could come up with a list of excuses but i put my walking shoes on and we did it again tonight.  the first lap was hard and the second had me spinning and out of balance just as much as i was the night before.  but i did it!


and if i did it...then you can too.

so now that i have written a book...let there be arty show and tell!

i used some of this...which i love....

on the back of a mirror.  i am wanting to age the mirror.  this mirror is not like the other cheapies i have done this to...the paint backing is not wanting to come off very easy and makes me wonder if this is even going to work.   as of 12:48 a.m.  the stripper is still working on eating the paint off.   i am going to sleep with fingers crossed that this works. 

i finished taping these.   i love how they look like they are in a science-y display case.  i thought about just doing plain and simple solder, but in my head it gave these bits and pieces a more modern look and i wanted vintage-y because this girl likes vintage-y everything.

i debated between using my newly discovered textured technique and my sorta newly discovered bolted look and decided to go for the newer textured technique. 

half way through i had some regrets...then i soldered a bit more and liked it....then i had regrets.  you know those days when you put on an outfit and hate it and put on another and feel gross and put on another...and another.   good old pms....perimenopausally enhanced that is!  sheesh!

i soldered until 9:00pm and the time flew by.  i was not going to quit until the soldering was all done.  i had no idea how much time had gone by.   looking at this has me so ready to start working on the ancestors piece i sketched and stuff gathered for ummmm....3 years ago maybe.   i am going to need the solder and flux fairy to visit me first since i am almost out of them both. 

i am kinda thinking i have too many pieces for the length i was originally planning on, but we will find out tomorrow when i put it all together. 

i did get one piece patina-ed.  i loves it patina-ed.  i loves it bunches!

normally there is no food or drink allowed in the studio since i work with a lot of icky chemicals.  there is usually something on my hands.  i did make an exception for this though.   my youngest is a culinary genious.  he is considering making this his profession.   we love iced coffee, with the exception of the hubs, and they are expensive.  i had all the makings for it in the pantry and max just made up his own recipe  and with the exception of a tad bit too much sugar the first time, we decided, he nailed it! 

it makes me think back to a brief conversation i had with my dad years ago.  for a long time i wanted to be able to open up a shop in one of  our historical main street buildings.  my dad thought it would be neat to have a small diner/cafe.  he said he could be the cook and we girls could make and sell our art in the same shop.   it makes me sad that we could not ever see that dream come true.  how neat it would have been to have max and my daddy both being culinary genius's together...especially since max reminds me so much of my dad.

i have babbled my brains out and still have a million things i could say but i think this arty girl is going to throw the hubs jeans in the dryer and try to get some sleep so i can finish up that necklace and start something new. 

hope you had a beautiful day....much love to you!  mwah!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

.....just how many candles can a birthday cake hold?

i feel like this photo of my birthday cake is missing a smokey the bear slogan....such as...only you can prevent forest fires....*snort*

it took over 10 minutes for the men to light this....they accidentally kept blowing out half the cake when they would blow out their match.   the candles started melting quicker and quicker the more they had lit and the icing on the cake was starting to melt and the hubby yelled out for the kids to start singing happy birthday to me as he lit the last couple of candles...now that is when you know you have a few or so candles on the cake.   the hubby had to buy 2 packs of 24, and even though i am only a mere 47 years young he just had to add that last candle, and it must have been that last candle that created all of the heat...right?!

my youngest thought this would have made the process a bit quicker...but it just caused the candles to kinda lean...smarty pants.....my daughter will kill me if she sees that i also captured her stuffing her face with a spoonful of ice cream.

i missed the full hearty-y-ness of the flame by just this much......

my youngest spent the weekend at a friends farm and brought me home some of these.....squeeeee!

and one of these.....there is a heart within a heart on this rock and no matter how hard i tried it just did not want to show up on a photo like it does all live and in person.


my middle guy and my daughter.

after we were all stuffed with ice cream and cake the begging began.  molly waited patiently for a fingerful of icing.  once poor mia saw the camera she ran and hid because cameras are such scary things they are.

mike has the power of telepathy....he can some how cause any one he stares at long enough to drop a morsel or two of whatever food he desires.   i swear the more determined we are not to give him something the more bits and pieces of it we 'accidentally' drop.    he is using his powers on steph as she clears the table. 

i am a very blessed girl....i received some of the sweetest, kindest and most unexpected birthday wishes from so many people.   i am so grateful for each and every one. 

with much love to you all.....nighty-night.  mwah.

my first free clinic visit and some bit and pieces of neato art

so i have been m.i.a. since wednesday. 

wowzer what a day that was.  since the hubby is still 'officially' unemployed, he is working with a temp agency, and we are without insurance i had what i hope to be a first and last experience with a local free clinic.   i needed a refill on a medicine that keeps my heart rate and rhythm in check.

first of all let me just say God bless those people.  they are volunteering their time. 

second of all...i will be applying to our local large well known hospital for future care.

this free clinic is located in the basement of the salvation army....behind the soup kitchen....and it looked just like it was out of a t.v. show, and worse than what you are imagining!

all of the nurses and doctors are, and i kid you not, 70+ years old.   the doctor i saw said he was a youngin' and he was in his 70's.   he was a big wig at our local large well known hospital until heart surgery forced him to cut back on office hours.  he was the kindest man, but forgetful as could be.  he said my heart sounded great.....and that always makes me feel relieved...i just hope  he remembered what a great sounding heart sounds like.

one female doctor had to use a cane, it took her about 15 minutes to make it to the bathroom, which was about 25 feet from her office.  one of the nurses had to ask her if she needed help.  as she approached i notice the white-see-through-sweater-wearing-cane-toting-woman-doctor  did not have a bra on.  it was a bit chilly in the room.  and oh-my-lawd  i could see her....areolas.  uh...according to google plural would be areolae.   i suddenly turned in to a teen-age boy and had to hold back a bout of hysterical, i can not believe i am seeing this, giggles.   i then asked God to forgive me, as i am doing now, and then prayed that she would not be my doctor. 

there were no computers, calculators.....the nurses station i was at had one of those clip on auto lamps....my nurse was so sweet and was just as deaf as i am!  *snort*  thank God my daughter was there to translate for the both of us!   it did not help that my tinnitus was roaring so loud i could not hear, and to top it off my hearing aid battery died and i was out of new ones. 

the free clinic had just the group of people you would expect...your average person who you can tell works for a living but does not have insurance, and then couple on meth....or some form of drug, the gansta, a poor woman who had a stroke in january...she broke my heart.  it was her first visit there as well.

the doctor wanted blood work done to check on my anemia, which was life threatening a few years ago.  he took me to this room with a woman that i swear was about 90 and there was a place to rest your arm....an old wooden t.v. tray.  i have had my blood drawn so many times over the years that i have track marks and look like a druggie so it does not bother me.....but,  oh holy crap there was no way this woman was going at me with a needle while my arm was on a germy tv tray.....but thank God this was the medicine room.  she could arrange for financial aid on presciptions if we could not afford them.   thankfully my meds are only 12 bucks.

ok....so now on to happy schtuff......

ohhhh.....forgot to upload photos....hold on......

oh, as a treat for being a good girl at the doctor my daughter took me for some froyo at my new favorite place.  orange leaf. 

coffee, chocolate, and cheese cake frozen yogurt topped with mini chocolate chips, mini caramel turtles and reeses pieces.....i just know this is what heaven tastes like!

this one was steph's

so on the way home from our treat we were stuck in after school and construction traffic.  i was thinking to my self how sad i was that i had not seen a sysco truck.  the hubby and kids see them all the time, and since it is a rare treat lately for me to get out of the house i was sure hoping to see one.  my dad was working for sysco when he passed away almost 8 years ago.  it has always been taken as a hello from my dad since then.   right as i began to then tell my daughter that i was sad i just happened to look up and see a tree in the shape of a heart.  i reached for my camera, but was too late to snap a photo as traffic began to move.  

my daughter and i caught the attention of several young hunky construction dudes....they waved as we drove by.   that makes a girl feel good!

we decided to pull back around and sit in traffic again so that i could take a photo to add to my collection of hearts from heaven....and great,  now the construction dudes are going to think we are out to pick them up....*snort*

on the way back we noticed the tree did not look at all like a heart from the back.  as we approached the tree from the other direction it was not looking hearty in the very least and if my daughter had not also witnessed this i would have thought i was losing my mind.  now i was really sad that i missed the photo op for this.  then traffic began to move again and there must have been the slightest breeze and it looked like a heart again!  i was able to snap a blurry photo of it.  not quite as hearty as the first time we saw it, but hearty it was.

this project originally started as a necklace.  wellllll....i decided mid construction to turn it in to a bracelet. 

the top reliquary has a bird skull i sculpted out of polymer.  the bottom and smaller reliquary has a coyote toe bone.  (i bought the bones from a fellow etsy seller who promised the coyote was road kill and not just killed for the bones, just in case you wondered about such things)

when i first told my daughter she said 'you know that is huge mom' and i told her not much huge-er than some of the chunky bracelets girls were wearing lately. 

ok...i am just way out of the box.....like i can not even see the box i am so out of it!    i spent way to many years stuffed and crammed in the box.....i am now allergic to boxes. 

so here we have the bracelet put together....but if you notice the end pieces....i had to remove the jump rings and re-solder them on a bit different to get the 'clasp' i chose to work.

this is a tim holtz doo-hicky.  i believe it is a pocket watch fob. 

and here are the jump ring do overs

and all patina-ed and the clasp attached.

and pics of the bracelet on in the studio and kitchen....

today was a wee bit of a nutty day.  oh....but last night this night owl fell asleep at just a bit after 11 pm the night before and woke up without the aid of an alarm at 9ish!  ....come to think of it, maybe that is why it was wonky?! 

i have been looking on the internet for a tute on how to texturize solder.  at least 2 years ago, maybe a wee bit longer,  i have had a few bird nest reliquaries ready to solder, but i wanted the solder to look like tree bark.  

today i found several photos of what i wanted but not a tute to be found for free that is....then it hit me.  i know this look...i did it to my bathroom a few years ago.  our bathroom paint kept chipping and for some reasone i got this idea to schmere the walls with joint compound and then give them texture with a wadded up plastic bag.  the paint no longer chips!

well, i could not use a wadded up plastic bag on hot smoldering liquidy solder, so i used a paper towel...that was not quite it...then i added water to the paper towel and wah-freaking-lah!  squeeeeee!

there was still condensation on the inside....the ants in my pants could not wait for the photo op.

now i liked this....but not quite what i wanted....

a few hours later i realized that i wanted the high spots to look more shiny, as though time had rubbed off the patina.

i wanted to use steele wool, but we had not a bit of it and the budget did not allow for a run to the hardware store....thankfully i had some bazillion grit wet/dry sand paper used in auto detailing that i used for the time being.

now this is just how i pictured it looking!  like a dork i keep looking at it with the biggest grin on my face that i figured out how to do this technique, and for free even!

today, the 22nd, i get to share my birthday with earth day.   according to the calendar i am 47.  my mind begs to differ.  it feels more like 20something.  

i received this in the mail from someone i feared i might never get to talk to or see again and that made me happy beyond words, and that is a pretty difficult thing to cause when it comes to me....to be beyond words. 

i have also received some of the sweetest and kindest and most unexpected birthday wishes.  i believe this arty girl's smiley face might just get stuck this way....just like my mom always told me! 

much love to you all.   big sloppy smooches and squishy hugs.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

reliquary bracelet in the making

today i only had a wee bit of time in my studio....it was an off day and by the time i was able to make it to my studio i was in a wonky mood.  i kinda really did not know where to start so i started playing with cutting glass in house shapes while trying to figure out where to start. 

i am going to need some more play time cutting house shapes free hand or make a pattern that is for sure....i did find that i am good at cutting myself with glass.  twice.  in a row.    with the first mishap i ran upstairs and washed the boo-boo and then put a band aid and neosporin on it, made it back downstairs and rammed the end of another finger in to the pointy end of a piece of glass and then ran back upstairs and washed that boo-boo out and figured that one would not need the boo-boo be better medicine.  at this point i figured i should work on something else. 

i began this reliquary with a necklace in mind and now i am planning on making it a bracelet.

on the inside is one of the bird skulls i sculpted from polymer.

ummm......i played with instagram....remember i said i did not see what the big deal was?  i am kinda liking that little app the more i play with it!

here a just a couple of elements of the bracelet.....have more to put together tomorrow if i have time.

it is going on 3 am...sheesh i told myself i was going to be asleep by now since the first alarm will go off in just about 3 hours from now and i need to be up by 7am.  oh i need to get on a normal people sleep schedule! 


Monday, April 16, 2012

Thank you Jesus....

wow.....10 years ago i would have told you to get lost if you told me those words would come out of my mouth.

ever since i was a little girl i thought i must have been so awful that God hated me...or that i was so so bad in a previous life that God's punishment was being carried over in to this life....and so in return i told God to take a hike.

about 10 years ago i stood in a daze in my living room, home alone, thinking there had to be more to life than this....the struggle, the hubby getting up to go to work to a job he did not like, being stuck in traffic, working with jerks, only to come home and deal with the bills and then go to bed and get up and start all over again the next day.   i have been struggling with a few medical problems for years.  the kids and their varying degrees of learning disabilities, bullies at school. 

i thought...what if we are nothing more than the equivalent of ants in an ant farm on some cruel kids shelf and every time we have our tunnels in order he picks up the plastic container holding us and shakes the ever living crap out of us just to mess with us. 

i thought about 'religious people' and how i wish i could go there....i have had my dealings with the judgemental drones though and i had no desire to be like one of them.  besides how do you choose a religion.....there are so many, all with different sets of rules and regulations but they are all using the same book!  so explain that one....which one is right?  no way did i want to be 'religious'.

a few weeks later at 'the wal-mart'  a family was walking down the isle coming toward us.  i knew they were 'religious' by their dress.  the girls with their long hair and dresses.  the woman and i locked eyes and i saw the most beautiful peace in her eyes....no worry, fear, anger, anxiety....just love and peace.....i told myself i wanted THAT.  

not too very long after that i was on another artist's blog and she referenced a quote from Mike Dooley's web site TUT.  i followed her link and signed up.....not too very long after that one of the emails mentioned something about 'the Secret'.   as soon as we could afford it i bought the dvd and was in awe.  not too very long after that one day it just seemed to really hit me....i should be giving thanks to 'the universe'?  the universe was not doing this stuff....God is.   not too very long after that i figured i would give God a try....i came across Joel Osteen.  he is soft, and gentle, loving, and kind.   i had not really ever had any dealings with a man like that. 

to keep this post short....er, shorter  i will  make a long story short.  i began watching Joyce Meyer, a woman i did not initially like...because of a newspapers story, but one day i happened across her program and fell in love with her say it like it is attitude...she was the opposite of Joel in many ways, but you could tell she cared.   later i added a few other t.v. ministers to my schooling, a couple even local here.

you may not care for Joel or Joyce....but that should not matter.   they are the teachers that came when I needed them....you may have different views, beliefs, and teachers, and that is ok.  i think that how ever you come to know God has to be your own path, with its own teachers, AND respect that everyone may have a different path to becoming spiritual. 

so here i am today.  my hubby lost his job of 33 years almost a year ago.  he was set up to be fired....long story.   we have no insurance.  the hubby is working for a company that works him like a dog.  i have never seen my husband come home so exhausted and not able to stand up straight.  this is a temp job.  he is getting paid less than 1/3 of what is salary was with his old company.  once my daughter got her part time job they cut us off food stamps and insurance. 

my husband called the electric company today to make payment arrangements for a very over due bill....the woman told my husband tough luck.  my husband called me from his temp job, and in all the years i have known him, 26 years, i have only seen him cry a handful of times.  his voice was quivering and by the end of the conversation he was in tears.    normally i call the electric company, and he calls most of the other businesses.  due to my hearing impairment communicating over the phone can be difficult.   he said they would be cutting off the electric today unless we could pay the bill, which we could not.   i told him to give me a half hour.   while i dialed the number and while the phone rang and i sat on hold i prayed for God to give us favor.   by the end of the call they accepted the payment arrangement my husband had originally asked for.....thank you Jesus. 

problem number two of the day.  i am on a medication that controls my heart rate.  mysteriously 12, 13 years ago i began having all kinds of heart rhythm and rate issues.  they could not find a reason for it and told me it was just something i had to live with, that it just happens to women my age and they don't know why. 

i have an appointment with a clinic in the middle of may.  i have enough meds for this week.  when i called i asked the women if she knew of any place i could go to get a refill to get me through to the appointment....she is an older lady, and easily annoyed i think...she jumped me verbally, once i apologized (for what i do not know, i just felt she felt she needed it) she became pleasant and we ended the call.   now i can go to an urgent care center, but, we do not have the money they require for the appointment.  the clinic is only open on mondays and wednesdays for just a few short hours.  i called this morning and as i dialed and sat through the recording i asked God for his favor that there would be a cancellation on wednesday that i could get in.   a bit later old lady crankypants called me,  i explained the situation and asked if maybe she had any cancellations for wednesday.....guess what......yup they sure did.  someone had just called before me and cancelled!  thank you Jesus!    the woman almost sounded mad that she was able to help me. 

i know this is long....bear with me.  i know i am more of a picture book girl....i don't like reading essays and such, so i really try not to write them.

so this morning as my hubby was getting ready for this temp job one of my 'religious' tv preachers came on.  it really got under my hubby's skin.  the man had a very expensive suit on.  by the time he got in the car with  my daughter....we only have 1 vehicle at this time and my daughter drives the hubby to work and then he has to sit at a mcdonalds for nearly 3 hours after he gets off work for her to pick him up, so any way he gets in the car in a really angry mood cussing about this preacher and his 2,500 dollar suit....mad at the world.   you see when he and i first met we had the same feelings for God....years ago, and then last year when he lost his job...i explained to him that our way was not working for us....maybe he could just give God another chance.   i always was a nervous nelly that did not handle all we have been through in the last few years well, but by having faith and learning about God i have done pretty good.  i have had my down days and bad moments, i am only human....but i have learned so much.   i would rather be at peace during the storm  and let the storm carry me where it wants to (and by that i do not mean just sitting on my butt doing nothing either)  than exhausted from trying to fight it.  

i hope when i tell the hubby that i will now be able to get my meds refilled and we will have some money for groceries, that maybe he will see that if we have faith that God will come through for us. 

he and i, the kids, we have big dreams for our future.   i know that our ways may not be God's ways, but i do know that he put these dreams in our hearts and we will see those dreams come to pass.  i am  holding out in faith that it will be soon, we all are getting worn out by all we have been through. 

i do not know why i felt so strongly about posting this....i never want to be that shove Jesus down your throat kinda girl, i want to be a show, not tell girl.  i want to be like that woman at 'the walmart'.  someday i want someone to see the peace and love in my eyes and find their way home like i did, so i hope that this can at least reach 1 person who needs it. 

i am going to go tell God thank you again....and then make some art. 

have a beautiful day.  mwah!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

my hearts from heaven...

for awhile i have wanted to post on the hearts i receive from heaven.  i have tons of photos i had planned to share and now it seems like more of a chore than a fun post....so i am going to just post as i go from here on out.  

yesterday as i was gazing out the kitchen window deep in thought i saw this....

today as i ripped off a piece of brownie it crumbled like this.....

i feel so blessed when i receive one of these.   they keep me going on the rough days.  it has been a couple of rough days...every time i look back through the photos of these gifts they make me smile.

my hubby said yesterday...'you know you could find a heart on a blade of grass'....pretty  amazing how God causes me to look in just the right direction to find my hearts...and pennies. 

i am hoping i will be back in the studio tomorrow making lots of  neat stuff.

hope you have a beautiful day....smooches to you.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

my dream house has.....

a huge studio on the third floor.  it has lots of large windows and a balcony with french doors.  it has brick walls and wood floors from an old barn.  the ceilings are ridiculously tall. my pinterest boards have tons of photos of oh-so-awesome antique and vintage pieces of furniture for storage of all kinds of this-es and thats that will fill my studio.   on beautiful days i will fling open my french doors and breathe in the fresh air while the sun shines in just perfectly to illuminate what i am creating. and i can hear the birds singing during the day, or the frogs and crickets chirping at night. 

i don't know when i will be creating in my new studio, but for now my studio is in the icky basement.  teeny windows.  the only way i am going to hear any birds, frogs or crickets is to turn my little tiny ancient tv on a science channel. 

i found every excuse to avoid going down there....even though i was so anxious to get to work play.

once i made it down there i was quite irked at myself for avoiding it for so long. 

i took this piece down to my studio and decided after i put a few puncture wounds in my fingers i would file down the points on it.....

during the process of filing the lethal tips to a less damaging dull point on  these prickly boogers i found a few that decided to take a flying leap off the piece and had to re-solder some replacements.

i knew last night that i wanted to use some green sari silk for the necklace, and i have to say it looks just how i imagined....i am a happy girl....squeeeee!

i was so wanting to do some spikes on a reliquary and began searching the studio for just the perfect thingy-ma-bob to put in such a reliquary and could not find anything....and then i realized that sneaky arty-a.d.d. had tricked me and so i put that future project on hold.  i have 4 necklaces to complete first.

i gathered my bits and pieces to quickly assemble these two.  i had enough of everything to make one for me and one to sell. 

if you know me, you know i love asymmetry, and ummmmm....unique design.  i am just not a girl that can be happy stringing pretties in a perfect little symmetrical cutsie pattern.  i just can not do it. 

this time though i was going to.  i pictured using the vintage plastic beads and fresh water pearls and dainty little swarovskis to make a necklace suitable for wearing to a tea and finger sandwich gathering.  uber girly.  

 one word went screaming through my mind and then my soul.....ugh-my-gawd-that-is-so-not-me-what-was-i-thinking-shoot-me-now-just-end-the-misery-i-just-can't-do-it.  *sigh*

i had the beads all in a perfectly pretty pattern and i ripped them off as quickly as i could and then.....

.....did this

i am a girly girl when it comes to make up and hair and nails and accessories...but i just look at this and think this is not me...this is not meeeeeee.  it is me because of the asymmetry and the unique tid bit i added with the tear drop bead....but it is not me me, if you know what i mean.  even my daughter looked at it and said  'it is so not you'.   but i will probably, maybe,  keep one for me in the off chance that i am invited to such a soiree that would require a dainty girlie accessory. 

here is a close up of the vintage pink plastic beads. 

at this point i had to stop for the day as the beast reared up its ugly head and i about fell off my chair.  this was the bad, bad version of the beast and it hit so quick it scared the bajeebers out of me.  thankfully my brain is finally settling down. 

and finally here are some pictures of the little glass vase that i soldered up last week.  the roses are from my garden....so pretty and so full of little pricklies....just like my thorny necklace above.

i think i have 8 or 9 of these left and next week i am hoping to solder them as well and maybe keep a couple of them for us and offer the others for sale on the nest feathers and twine etsy shop that currently is not open due to the fact that i need to stock the 'shelves' with goodies. 

it has been a kind of vanilla day here....the boys are having a really rough time of it with allergies and we have been having some pretty chilly weather compared to what we have gotten use to during this weird winter and spring this year.    as usual though mike provided us with 'flavor' for our bland  day

my hubby's dog ate something that had an undesirable outcome and was butt bombing us out of the room for most of the evening.  he could have made a skunk gag.   it could be the splat he licked up from the back step....a splat that looked like a huge drip of ice cream that had begun to melt...and then i realized we did not have ice cream.  guh-ross.  this dog can drive me nuts, but i have to admit he is a huge source of entertainment around here. 

i guess i need to check the washer...i can't remember if i have anything left in there or not.  maybe i will work up the guts to use the voice recorder on my phone and see if anyone will answer my inquiry as to who seems to want to  communicate with us. 

i hope you had a beautiful and blessed day.

g'night.  mwah!