Wednesday, June 6, 2012

times they are a changin'

this past saturday my first boy, my oldest boy, my middle guy, graduated high school. his true goofy form.   i love this boy.  i am worried for this boy.  i have faith in this boy. 

i so love it when you capture peeps in their true form and not posed.....the kids weren't feeling the love when they saw the photos i chose to post. 

yup, my youngest really does have his arm wrapped 'round his brother.  these two...night and day, sun and moon, their personalities so very different that if they did not look like me and their daddy i would not believe they are related.

their daddy took this photo...yea...i thought i was technology challenged!  *snort*

that's me with my sammy. 

and sam with his daddy.  wow this emotion from the hubs was so unexpected.  this man has cried just a handful of times in the 26 years i have known him.  he cried earlier that day when they called sam's name.  i have many thoughts on the why of it all.  we did not talk about it.  in true man fashion he just does not choose to tell you his thoughts...or feelings.  

i guess by now you have noticed i have played with the font...we will see if it is a keeper after i publish. 

last thursday i had a play date with my mom and sister.  and with the exception of some funky stomach thing that i am still dealing with today, i had so much fun.  i wish we could have played for many more hours. 

a bit of what i made....

i have lots more schtuff to make out of polymer before i can begin assembly of necklaces and such.   some pieces will be given a schmere of patina here and there first. 

those of you who know of my love of science and a long lost dream of being an archaeologist, anthropologist and such....these pieces are right up my ally. 

a few weeks ago i put my etsy shop on vacation mode to take some time to think. 

  • is this what i am suppose to be doing?
  • if it is, why is my stuff not selling?
  • what do i need to change?
  • should i give up
  • what else am i suppose to do
  • God...why aren't you answering me
  • God...why am i not hearing you

i have lots more questions, but in the end it all comes down to the same thing. 

i know if i am going to keep going i need my photography to reflect more the style and feel i have when i view my pieces. 


i so love taking photos, except for when it comes to the etsy shop.  i know though once i find the sweet spot(s) in my house with just the oh-so-perfect lighting, that it will make it so much easier. 

today when i snapped photos of the polymer pieces i did last week i played with a spot in my foyer.   it is close to what i want.  so close.

so, in pondering on the do i shut it down or keep it open thoughts on the etsy shop, there has been nagging voice in my head to pick this book up again and not only finish reading it, but start over from the begining.

i still have faith that God is going to bring us through this awful storm we have been in, and i know that it will happen on His time table and His way, but i also know that i am not to sit on my behind and just wait either, but in the confusion of it all i find my self doing just that at times.

i still am fighting having a 'life is a struggle' and poverty mind set.  it is hard not to when that is what you see and feel everyday. 

i am so thankful i finally listened to that voice that told me to pick up the book.....

maybe i am receiving my answer afterall....

"one of the tricks of has a sly habit of slipping in by the back door, and often it comes disguised in the form misfortune, or temporary defeat.  perhaps this is why so many fail to recognize opportunity."

"before success comes in any man's life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat, and, perhaps, some failure.  when defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit.  that is exactly what the majority of men do."

"truly, thought are things, and powerful things at that, when they are mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for their translation in to riches, or other material objects."

"thomas edison dreamed of a lamp that could be operated by electricity, began where he stood to put his dream into action and despite more than ten thousand failures, he stood by that dream until he made it a physical reality.  practical dreamers do not quit!"

"remember that all who succeed in life get off to a bad start, and pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they 'arrive'.  the turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the moment of some crisis, though  which they are introduced to their 'other selves'"   

and of course there is another quote that i must not have highlighted that again mentions
'burning desire'.

i have wants, likes, dislikes, thoughts....but after reading the 2 chapters last night i realized that being in 'survival mode' for several years along with  mommy mode and such i gasped at the realization that i do not have the burning desire for anything...yipes! 

so, the plan is to

  • get my brain out of survival mode
  • write down, once i figure them out,  what my burning desires are
  • re-take photos for my etsy shop
  • re-work a few pieces of jewelry for my etsy shop
  • putting my foot down and no longer settling and just surviving
  • add to this list as needed

i am guessing i am gonna be a busy girl for the next several weeks.  one of the first tasks on my list is to get back to blogging nightly! 

well, that is the hubby calling...gotta run!

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