the longest 1.2 miles i have ever walked....but i did it....and some more soldered schtuff

so yesterday afternoon the beast and i fought.  a year ago, 2 years ago i would have given up and crawled in my bed, or been forced there by the hubby who worries.   i pushed myself and went down to my studio and made art.   some days when the beast is acting up my body and brain do not communicate with each other.   my throat tries to swallow backwards, and i choke....my hands forget to hold things and that means carrying a glass-glass is a no-no and this big girl is forced to use a plastic drink bottle....which sometimes feels like a grown up girl sippee cup.  my feet and legs forget how to walk on stairs. 

so i made it down to my studio and began putting feathers and vintage text between layers of glass that i had to first wipe down and then tape to prepare to solder.  i have had to learn to laugh, and alot, to keep sane with this disease.   it was almost cartoon like yesterday.  things would begin to fall from my grip and i would try to catch it and just as i had it back in my hands it fell again and i grabbed again.  

the best way to describe how this feels is for you to imagine being on a ride that spins while standing and the floor suddenly tilts or drops out from under you....now while all of this is going on try to walk, talk, swallow, make art....using an x-acto knife and scissors and glass and all things pokey and proddy.....  that is what i live with in varying degrees every day. 

last year while looking for.....ugh i don't know what on the meniere's support group fb page i came across a post that a doctor recommended that you do the hard things, not avoid them and it will help you COPE better over time.  i was angry at first...is this doctor nuts?!  i would like to see him try.   the next day though i realized i had been  letting this beast win.   there are days when i will never be able to even think of getting out of bed no matter how hard i try....but there are plenty of days in between that i can.   i want my life back and i began taking charge again.

  cooking and doing the dishes are still torture as the movement can be nauseating and make the spins flare up....but a little over a year ago i began doing them again...most days.  it sucks but i CAN do it.

last year i did not walk but just a few times on the really good days.  i miss walking, and steph and i started walking again last week...... i was having some really good days so the walking was pretty easy.   we have started off slow, for my sake, just doing 1.2 miles a night.  just a bit over the average 2,000 steps taken in a mile.   i am hoping in the next couple of months to be up to the 10,000 daily steps that are recommended.  

those with meniere's or vertigo and balance issues also have problems navigating in the dark.   with landmarks less visible it feels like floating in outer space and standing on the very edge of the grand canyon with gravity pushing you over the edge all at the same time.  you have no point of reference to know which end is up when your brain is telling you differently.   last night i really wanted to walk and kept thinking there is just no way.  steph asked if i wanted to try and i told her i did not know if i would be able to make it both trips around the block but i wanted to give it a shot.   a part of me was convinced if i just got out there and walked the vertigo and imbalance would just go away.  for so many years i was told this was in my head, or anxiety even though i was originally diagnosed when i was 19.    sometimes, especially on the less challenging days i do try really hard to convince myself that it is all in my head and some days i am just plain in denial that this is really happening to me. 

i probably walked more like 4,000 steps than 2,000 from the stumbling, it was awful and awesome at the same time.  i constantly had to stop and get my bearings back and start up again.  i constantly felt like i was falling and only knew when i was when steph would grab on to me.   steph said i looked like a baby just learning to walk....i saw my shadow at one point and joked i looked like frankenstein walking for the first time!    the first time around the block was scary, the second a challenge...and like i said before it was awful and awesome at the same time.  my daughter kept cheering me on telling me how proud she was of me....and that helped....a lot.  it was the longest 1.2 miles i had ever walked and when we got home i was beyond exhausted.

this evening i was a bit less spinny and off balance but,  i had started to talk myself out of that walk.  it was hard and i had forgotten to have the hubby adjust my second crutch.  i usually only use one, but decided on the extra challenging days we walk that using both might help....i could come up with a list of excuses but i put my walking shoes on and we did it again tonight.  the first lap was hard and the second had me spinning and out of balance just as much as i was the night before.  but i did it!

I DID IT!  I DID IT!  I DID IT! 

and if i did it...then you can too.


so now that i have written a book...let there be arty show and tell!

i used some of this...which i love....

on the back of a mirror.  i am wanting to age the mirror.  this mirror is not like the other cheapies i have done this to...the paint backing is not wanting to come off very easy and makes me wonder if this is even going to work.   as of 12:48 a.m.  the stripper is still working on eating the paint off.   i am going to sleep with fingers crossed that this works. 

i finished taping these.   i love how they look like they are in a science-y display case.  i thought about just doing plain and simple solder, but in my head it gave these bits and pieces a more modern look and i wanted vintage-y because this girl likes vintage-y everything.

i debated between using my newly discovered textured technique and my sorta newly discovered bolted look and decided to go for the newer textured technique. 

half way through i had some regrets...then i soldered a bit more and liked it....then i had regrets.  you know those days when you put on an outfit and hate it and put on another and feel gross and put on another...and another.   good old pms....perimenopausally enhanced that is!  sheesh!

i soldered until 9:00pm and the time flew by.  i was not going to quit until the soldering was all done.  i had no idea how much time had gone by.   looking at this has me so ready to start working on the ancestors piece i sketched and stuff gathered for ummmm....3 years ago maybe.   i am going to need the solder and flux fairy to visit me first since i am almost out of them both. 

i am kinda thinking i have too many pieces for the length i was originally planning on, but we will find out tomorrow when i put it all together. 

i did get one piece patina-ed.  i loves it patina-ed.  i loves it bunches!

normally there is no food or drink allowed in the studio since i work with a lot of icky chemicals.  there is usually something on my hands.  i did make an exception for this though.   my youngest is a culinary genious.  he is considering making this his profession.   we love iced coffee, with the exception of the hubs, and they are expensive.  i had all the makings for it in the pantry and max just made up his own recipe  and with the exception of a tad bit too much sugar the first time, we decided, he nailed it! 

it makes me think back to a brief conversation i had with my dad years ago.  for a long time i wanted to be able to open up a shop in one of  our historical main street buildings.  my dad thought it would be neat to have a small diner/cafe.  he said he could be the cook and we girls could make and sell our art in the same shop.   it makes me sad that we could not ever see that dream come true.  how neat it would have been to have max and my daddy both being culinary genius's together...especially since max reminds me so much of my dad.

i have babbled my brains out and still have a million things i could say but i think this arty girl is going to throw the hubs jeans in the dryer and try to get some sleep so i can finish up that necklace and start something new. 

hope you had a beautiful day....much love to you!  mwah!

glitter, glitter everywhere...even in

my underwear.....maybe a tmi...but it aint no lie.

that is what i love/hate about glitter.  it will be on me and everything i touch for at least a week. 

the plan for today was to finish crackle egg number 4  and then work on doing some more studio tidying.  well the beast had other plans for the day.  the beast wanted to watch the ncis marathon.  i argued with the beast that we could watch the marathon on my ancient tiny tv in my studio.  so off i went downstairs to the studio and the beast protested.  i almost fell on my face 3 times just getting to my chair.

once in my chair i was okey dokey, i had my glitter...squeeeee....and my glue.  i penciled the words 'happy easter' on the egg and realized the word easter was a bit off kilter and i had used a sketching pencil and there was no erasing it....sheesh.  ( i would love to blame this on the beast, and probably could, but i am sure it was just my lack of  paying total attention to what i was doing to blame)    i went ahead and traced over the letters with glue

i sprinkled the oh-so-magical glitter over it and the beast acted naughty and my hand and brain quit communicating and i.......dropped.....the.......egg!   ewwwwwwwwww.  i picked the egg up real quick and began to smoooosh the glitter and glue back where it was originally.  &^*%&(^$%^$  beast!

after side 1 dried

 i figured there is another side to the egg so i will give it another shot, and thankfully it turned out better.  the beast did mess with me on side 2 but i whooped its' butt. 

much better side 2 is. 

i have to admit that i did finally give in to the beast shortly after this.  but at least...at least i came down to my studio and did accomplish something.


i was too lazy to get my camera out of its case to capture a better photo...but this will give ya an idea of where it landed.

while flipping channels trying to find something other than an infomercial to watch to keep me company after you and i part ways for the evening i came across the last few minutes of young frankenstein.  i love that movie and i am pretty bummed that i missed it.


well, i am off to go take another swig from the bottle of store brand mylanta  as this heartburn is being quite a jerk.

sleep tight.  mwah.

i think i found my mojo

i have spent a couple of weeks cleaning and reorganizing my studio, getting rid of things that after years i have not used, but  will in a week or month or so i will find a use for....as always.

my studio still needs some work done, but i have enough room to work and this arty girl is starting to find her oh-so-lost mojo again.

since easter is around the corner i figured what better project to start off with than one that has a bunny.

about a year ago while wandering the bead section of a local artsy fartsy store i came across the beads for this project and knew exactly what i was going to do with them.  one set of beads have flowers printed on them...the other remind me of heads of lettuce or cabbage.


 i needed this guy (and his twin) for the necklaces....... because this is one of those make one to sell and one for meeeee kind of pieces.    these bunnies have been part of our easter decorations for about 20 years. 

even though the bunnies are 20 years old, they did not look old enough so i aged them with a bit of sanding and......

how about that chippy neon pink polish i am sporting....huh?   every time i would look down at my nails it would about blind me!

i using a sponge brush i rubbed a bit of this over the bunnies....

the top bunny has been aged with the distress ink, and the bottom one....not yet. 

later today i will spray a bit of clear coat on it to seal the distress ink. 


the next few steps were very tedious.....i cut 60+ 4" pieces of 18 gauge steel wire.

there are 2 very important tools, besides the clippers, for this job.....

i love my nitrile gloves.  they help keep my hands clean....er, and keep me from getting poked by the wire.  after a messy job like this i give them a good washing with some dish soap and ring them out. 

my safety glasses with built in bi-focals.   this arty girl will be 47 this april, and even though i feel like i could be my 21 year old daughters twin sister, my eyes and their abililty to focus on objects within arms length would beg to differ.  


i use to wear my safety glasses all willy nilly until a few years ago when cutting the tip off of a large sewing needle, about the size of 18 gauge wire,  the chunk hit me dead center in my eyeball.  yipes!  i kept looking at my eyeball all evening expecting to find the chunk imbedded in my eyeball...several hours later i found the quarter inch piece in the lower part of my eye lid.  it took over an hour to get it out of my eye....believe it or not, it is much easier to get an eyelash out of the ole eyeball than a chunk of a needle. 


i now wear my safety glasses 99 % of the time and usually won't even cut a piece of paper without them on.

so after cutting these 60 pieces, which takes some muscle let me tell ya, i then began sanding off the annealing.

i have found that the easiest method for this is to sandwich the wire between 2 sanding blocks.

 i use the super cheapies from harbor freight.

below you can see the difference.  i love the aged look the annealing gives, but it rubs off and it is icky, so if i want to age and darken the steel i rub a bit of novacan black patina on it...which i do not have a picture of.  you can buy it at shops that sell stain glass and soldering schtuff. 

thank goodness i have a tiny t.v. from the dark ages in my studio.  it gave me something to watch while i undertook this boring task.  i am too antsy to sit for too very long doing something like this.  even while engrossed in a movie i had seen a dozen times before.....eagle eye....i still had to get up and fidget in my studio every 15 or 20 pieces. 

by the time i was done with this my shoulders and hands were in cramps, so i decided it was a good time to join the peeps upstairs for the evening....and if i began to feel a bit guilty,  all i had to do was remind myself that my nitrile glubs were-a-drying and i had to wait for them to dry for the next task anyway.


the next task will be to apply a coating of this stuff.....

this will seal the steel and help prevent rusting in case it comes in contact with water.   i have not had much experience with this stuff, just under a year of working with it, but many artists that work with steel use it and swear by it.  

i am hoping by later today i will have completed this step and be well on my way wire wrapping the beads and assembling this piece.

you will have to excuse the blurry-ness of this photo, but it is a bit of a peek of what is to come. 


i am still not sure of  how the bunny will connect to the necklace.



and i am ending this post with a pat on my back, because the beast (meniere's disease vertigo) has been kicking my butt big and bad...i spent two days in bed because i was unable to walk....i was able to do all of this while my world was still spinning and tilting.   i am able to walk at this point, but i kinda look like a drunk trying to walk on a waterbed, and my hands sometimes forget they are attached to my body and i drop things.....alot....which makes the whole entire process of creating slow going  at times.   my fear of becoming an invalid from this disease has given me the strength and determination to push myself beyond what i thought i could do.  i am pretty darn proud of myself.

with that said, and my back patted, i hope to be able to post later this evening with photos of what i have completed.

xo