the longest 1.2 miles i have ever walked....but i did it....and some more soldered schtuff

so yesterday afternoon the beast and i fought.  a year ago, 2 years ago i would have given up and crawled in my bed, or been forced there by the hubby who worries.   i pushed myself and went down to my studio and made art.   some days when the beast is acting up my body and brain do not communicate with each other.   my throat tries to swallow backwards, and i choke....my hands forget to hold things and that means carrying a glass-glass is a no-no and this big girl is forced to use a plastic drink bottle....which sometimes feels like a grown up girl sippee cup.  my feet and legs forget how to walk on stairs. 

so i made it down to my studio and began putting feathers and vintage text between layers of glass that i had to first wipe down and then tape to prepare to solder.  i have had to learn to laugh, and alot, to keep sane with this disease.   it was almost cartoon like yesterday.  things would begin to fall from my grip and i would try to catch it and just as i had it back in my hands it fell again and i grabbed again.  

the best way to describe how this feels is for you to imagine being on a ride that spins while standing and the floor suddenly tilts or drops out from under you....now while all of this is going on try to walk, talk, swallow, make art....using an x-acto knife and scissors and glass and all things pokey and proddy.....  that is what i live with in varying degrees every day. 

last year while looking for.....ugh i don't know what on the meniere's support group fb page i came across a post that a doctor recommended that you do the hard things, not avoid them and it will help you COPE better over time.  i was angry at first...is this doctor nuts?!  i would like to see him try.   the next day though i realized i had been  letting this beast win.   there are days when i will never be able to even think of getting out of bed no matter how hard i try....but there are plenty of days in between that i can.   i want my life back and i began taking charge again.

  cooking and doing the dishes are still torture as the movement can be nauseating and make the spins flare up....but a little over a year ago i began doing them again...most days.  it sucks but i CAN do it.

last year i did not walk but just a few times on the really good days.  i miss walking, and steph and i started walking again last week...... i was having some really good days so the walking was pretty easy.   we have started off slow, for my sake, just doing 1.2 miles a night.  just a bit over the average 2,000 steps taken in a mile.   i am hoping in the next couple of months to be up to the 10,000 daily steps that are recommended.  

those with meniere's or vertigo and balance issues also have problems navigating in the dark.   with landmarks less visible it feels like floating in outer space and standing on the very edge of the grand canyon with gravity pushing you over the edge all at the same time.  you have no point of reference to know which end is up when your brain is telling you differently.   last night i really wanted to walk and kept thinking there is just no way.  steph asked if i wanted to try and i told her i did not know if i would be able to make it both trips around the block but i wanted to give it a shot.   a part of me was convinced if i just got out there and walked the vertigo and imbalance would just go away.  for so many years i was told this was in my head, or anxiety even though i was originally diagnosed when i was 19.    sometimes, especially on the less challenging days i do try really hard to convince myself that it is all in my head and some days i am just plain in denial that this is really happening to me. 

i probably walked more like 4,000 steps than 2,000 from the stumbling, it was awful and awesome at the same time.  i constantly had to stop and get my bearings back and start up again.  i constantly felt like i was falling and only knew when i was when steph would grab on to me.   steph said i looked like a baby just learning to walk....i saw my shadow at one point and joked i looked like frankenstein walking for the first time!    the first time around the block was scary, the second a challenge...and like i said before it was awful and awesome at the same time.  my daughter kept cheering me on telling me how proud she was of me....and that helped....a lot.  it was the longest 1.2 miles i had ever walked and when we got home i was beyond exhausted.

this evening i was a bit less spinny and off balance but,  i had started to talk myself out of that walk.  it was hard and i had forgotten to have the hubby adjust my second crutch.  i usually only use one, but decided on the extra challenging days we walk that using both might help....i could come up with a list of excuses but i put my walking shoes on and we did it again tonight.  the first lap was hard and the second had me spinning and out of balance just as much as i was the night before.  but i did it!

I DID IT!  I DID IT!  I DID IT! 

and if i did it...then you can too.


so now that i have written a book...let there be arty show and tell!

i used some of this...which i love....

on the back of a mirror.  i am wanting to age the mirror.  this mirror is not like the other cheapies i have done this to...the paint backing is not wanting to come off very easy and makes me wonder if this is even going to work.   as of 12:48 a.m.  the stripper is still working on eating the paint off.   i am going to sleep with fingers crossed that this works. 

i finished taping these.   i love how they look like they are in a science-y display case.  i thought about just doing plain and simple solder, but in my head it gave these bits and pieces a more modern look and i wanted vintage-y because this girl likes vintage-y everything.

i debated between using my newly discovered textured technique and my sorta newly discovered bolted look and decided to go for the newer textured technique. 

half way through i had some regrets...then i soldered a bit more and liked it....then i had regrets.  you know those days when you put on an outfit and hate it and put on another and feel gross and put on another...and another.   good old pms....perimenopausally enhanced that is!  sheesh!

i soldered until 9:00pm and the time flew by.  i was not going to quit until the soldering was all done.  i had no idea how much time had gone by.   looking at this has me so ready to start working on the ancestors piece i sketched and stuff gathered for ummmm....3 years ago maybe.   i am going to need the solder and flux fairy to visit me first since i am almost out of them both. 

i am kinda thinking i have too many pieces for the length i was originally planning on, but we will find out tomorrow when i put it all together. 

i did get one piece patina-ed.  i loves it patina-ed.  i loves it bunches!

normally there is no food or drink allowed in the studio since i work with a lot of icky chemicals.  there is usually something on my hands.  i did make an exception for this though.   my youngest is a culinary genious.  he is considering making this his profession.   we love iced coffee, with the exception of the hubs, and they are expensive.  i had all the makings for it in the pantry and max just made up his own recipe  and with the exception of a tad bit too much sugar the first time, we decided, he nailed it! 

it makes me think back to a brief conversation i had with my dad years ago.  for a long time i wanted to be able to open up a shop in one of  our historical main street buildings.  my dad thought it would be neat to have a small diner/cafe.  he said he could be the cook and we girls could make and sell our art in the same shop.   it makes me sad that we could not ever see that dream come true.  how neat it would have been to have max and my daddy both being culinary genius's together...especially since max reminds me so much of my dad.

i have babbled my brains out and still have a million things i could say but i think this arty girl is going to throw the hubs jeans in the dryer and try to get some sleep so i can finish up that necklace and start something new. 

hope you had a beautiful day....much love to you!  mwah!

a box of curiosity and a pinterest diy win

i am so happy that this weekend has ended better than it started, and for that i am so grateful.

at the end of my last post i predicted the pms would most likely leaving me sobbing in a corner for no real reason, saturday i was a doing just that, but mostly because the beast (meniere's) was really, really being naughty in a bad way.  just an hour in to my day i was not able to walk by myself, it messed with my ability to swallow and read and hold things, reading a book or text on the computer was not happening. 

most days we joke and make fun of the beast and how sometimes, when i get spinny i can look like a bobble head, according to my youngest.  when i lose my balance i tend to throw my arms in some goofy direction trying to catch myself and who ever might be in the room does it too.  we are a bunch of goof balls....probably funnier to be here.  

the only days the beast can bully me to tears is on days like saturday...and that was not even what one of my more challenging days can be like....without my guest, pms, i can usually shut the bathroom door so no one has to see my give in and cry....but the pms enhanced the boo-hoo process and i fell apart in the kitchen in front of everyone.....i hate that. 

today started off better.  i am not back to my normal less spinny self, but i am better and was bound and determined to make art....the soldering bug has bit me something awful this past week and that is what i did.

it has been a couple of years since i have done a reliquary and i started playing around with ideas last week using a match box, some very old watch maker vials, vintage beads, fish bone, coyote toe bones, and peridot chips....oh and vintage german book text in the background. 


i used double sided tape to secure the vintage book text down, but later you will will not enough. 

you can also see  that i have a wire running through the box....i have wanted to do this for a long time.....and

it was a good excuse to play with this....squeeeeeeeee!

at first i was going for the abacus look with some vintage trade beads....nah.....not how i pictured it.

like a dork i double stick taped the vials to the inside of the box....the beast causes me a little air headed at times, not like i don't already have that problem anyway!  i had to yank the bottles out and that caused the paper to be ripped to shreds so i had to cut a new lining out.

now that is more like it.

uh boy.  i got this all taped up and if you look at the left hand corner....part of the vintage book text is haning down.  i did not tape it corner to corner, just a bit in the middle and somewhere in the process of putting the foil/tape down for soldering i jarred the corner loose. 

so, i can just leave it...who will notice...does not matter.  i will know. 

i took just the top bit off and adjusted the paper the best i could with an exacto knife and sealed it back up. 

it was a pain in the butt, but worth it.

i use a bone folder to make sure the edges are smooth and all sealed up.

wah-laa.  ready to solder.  here is where i realize i did not plug in the soldering iron and decide to take a potty break upstairs and check in on all the peeps to kill time to let it heat up.

notice the vial on the left of the screen, the little one.  see how the cork is in nice and tight....just wait.

here it is all soldered up. 

i have mentioned in previous posts that i have decided i might just not be one of those pretty, super smooth solderererers....that i have decided to call this my 'style'

this evening i decided why not give it a bit more of that ancient dig site, or antique look and make it look as though it has been sealed or nailed or screwed shut.

it took a good hour experimenting, and inhaling lots of steamy stinky flux, not sure if that is a good thing, and found that if you make a dot and really really really quickly move the soldering iron and shove a bamboo skewer in the center and push down you get that sealed, nailed, screwed shut look! 

did i mention the beast was still being naughty....and that my sense of aim was a bit off?!?!  so this was pretty darn good.  not that i got it 'right' on the first try for each one, but i did it!

i am so happy!  squeeeeeee!

here is the back.  i experimented with another process for large areas like this and i almost have it figured out and when i do i will play show and tell.

when i told my hubby that i made this from a match box he was blown away.  he thought i used one of my vintage metal boxes.  he is my biggest supporter and without him i would have never gone as far or done as much as i have.   i am a lucky girl.  he thinks i am a genius....

remember a bit earlier i said to look at the bottle on the left of the screen....see what happened to the cork....it is no longer snug as a bug on the tiny vial.  during the soldering process condensation built up on the inside and it must have loosened it.   note to self:  secure the corks in the next on i do.

i was hoping that once it dried out a bit the cork would stay stuck, but no such luck.  thankfully the bar of beads are keeping the cork from coming all the way out and the contents of the tiny vial from spilling all over. 


on a different note....PINTEREST....my addiction.  there are so many neat ideas, arty, household, cleaning, holiday....the list goes on and on and on and i have become, like so many others a pin hoarder.  i decided i was going to try some of the diy/tutorials i was pinning.  i have tried a ton of them and figured i would share my personal experiences on posts here and there.

the first one i will share with you, but not the first i have done, is the milk jug watering can.


i have several vintage ones that i don't use, and i also always seem to have at least one empty milk jug a day.  

on the pin it showed the watering can with holes in the LID.   when i first saw this i thought what total genius, and then realized at some point you would need to turn the jug almost completely upside down to get the water out.  so......................

i pokes them here, and it works great.  now i just need some plants that need to be gently watered. 

it is only midnight and i am a bit pooped, thanks to the beast, so i am going to say nighty-night for now and see if i can settle down. 

hope you had a beautiful weekend.  smooches to you.